“These are the days I wish this table wasn’t quite so big. I’d reach over and hold your hand and tell you, no, Nicole. I’m proud of you. You are beautiful, smart, and you are going to do great things here.”Her guilt still throbs but she hops out and runs around the table to hug him. She hardly knows this man, but somehow he makes her feel safe, loved, beautiful, and not like the reject/burden/mess she is. Part of her is trying to burst out in tears thinking about her father, but she holds back. We finally arrived at my Aunt Junes and Uncle Bob’s house around four they were holding dinner for us , I thinking possum stew or maybe road kill surprise , but it was real food not some backwoods barbecue .Pam was not there when we arrived so we had supper without her Aunt June said that Pam was at cheer-leading practice and would be home soon . I sat on the front porch in the swing waiting for my cousin to arrive still thinking please don’t be a dog or some big fat cow . I must have dozed off. He took her hand again and put it on his arm. He pointed down and mouthed the words, ‘walk softly’. He led her slowly into the woods. She tried to step where he stepped. He moved slowly and deliberately for perhaps fifty yards. He stopped and only his head slowly moved, then it stopped. He turned and grinned at her. He mouthed ‘I love you.’ He moved a few more feet. He reached back and slowly pulled her up along side of him. They stood very still. Pat’s hand gripped her hand and she glanced at. . please, you are really trying my blessed patience here. You have to pre-arrange your password with your ‘Official Human Handler’, at the point of your demise. Your ‘Official Human Handler’ then enters your password into the system with a hand thingy he carries. Beats me why in this new PC world we have to replace a single blessed word like ‘angel’ with three blessed words for the same blessed thing. But then I was never consulted on the new system. I liked the old system, but they tell me.
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